Hi, everyone! Greetings & Salutations. I took a really long break from posting, as beekeeping season was upon me, then gardening season was upon me, and then my husband got this really well-intentioned but harebrained idea that I should start cleaning the house on a schedule. A schedule! Can you believe that? Our house did look a little better for a while, but then I burned out on his idea, and rather quickly at that.
We just returned from San Francisco, in celebration of our fifth wedding anniversary. I never, never, never get sick, so I of course came down with The Cold From Hell five days before we were supposed to leave. By the time we got to San Francisco, I was not only sleep-deprived, but had bronchitis. So I spent a few sleepless nights making my husband sleep-deprived, too, because I just couldn’t lie down without coughing.
You can get me to do just about anything if you deprive me of sleep. So, by the time we visited Chinatown on the second day of our trip, I was pretty damned desperate. We stopped in at a Chinese Herbalist place, and I asked the man behind the counter if he could help me. He smiled a lot and nodded when I described my numerous symptoms and kept pointing to my chest. Come to think of it, he probably thought I was pointing to my magnificent breasts, not my lungs. No wonder he was smiling and nodding! Yes!
I know a lot about the practice of medicine from watching so many “House” episodes, and I know that taking the wrong Chinese herbs can make huge sores bust out on your skin which then explode on everyone near you. So, I was fortunate to have a nice Amer-Asian lady shopper translate for me. Within seconds, and for only $3.50 for the entire bottle, I got some pills which were to be taken for lung, throat and esophagus problems. As soon as we got back to the hotel, I started taking my new meds, which were small tablets in a lovely shade of green.
I awoke at 11:00 PM in severe gastro-intestinal distress, meaning GASTRO, which is Greek for GAS, and INTESTINAL, which is Greek for INTESTINAL. Over the next few days, I continued hacking like a fiend. The pills ended up in the trash in our hotel room, but I continued to suffer from their effects any time I put the smallest amount of food in my mouth.
So I am thinking the nice lady who translated for me was in cahoots with the guy behind the counter, and they decided to play a trick on The Stupid Texas Tourist Lady. Well, isn’t that what you would suspect? Fool me once, you zany Chinatown pranksters! Anyway, everything is okay now, and I’m on the mend.
My husband just emailed from work and said a guy there was sick all week with the same bronchitis-stuff I had. Now I wish I’d saved the pills for him, because he can sort of be a butthead at times, and it would be funny for him to think my husband was actually trying to help him.
Next time, I think I will write about how we loners make TERRIBLE travelers. No wonder hubby and I only take a trip once a year!
I’ve missed you! Did you miss me? It’s good to be back.